Yuku free message boards

Hackers and all those other types, but they shall never keep us down or quiet. Just this morning as I was doing the Lords work, which I do each and every morning as they Lord has lots of work for us to do. I call this time the Lords time, and this morning I was writing to the goverment of Iran to free some political prisnors who were picked up yesterday. Sending a birthday message to a nobel prize winnner being held for trial in Burma, she turns 64, God Bless her. I have many causes of which it takes my time, but my time is the Lords time and he wishes me to do the things some can not do for themselves. I count writing on these boards also as his work as he wishes the truth about those who twist his doctrine and lead his sheep astray to be heard. I speak for animals who can not speak for themselves.

He keeps me busy, my Father does. I think if I was not doing this I would lose hope for this world. For in writing to help these people I see what they have given up to make a difference in this world. Their bravery, and wisdom. Many would not have what it takes to stand up for what they believe. And it is very easy to write from the safty of Canada, in my own home, surrounded by those I love. It really seems so little at times I feel ashamed.

I have mind you done many things to place myself in danger. But then who can hurt me if the Lord is with me? What can they do that my Father does not see? My Father tells me to be Bold... and I am. Only once in all these years have I ever become disheartened. It was one morning when I was writing to the advertisers of Happy meals, who were advertising a show with a child molester molesting a child and a child predator killing a child,and them advertising happy meals inbetween.. and while I was writing a man killed a group of little school girls, a child molester who went over the edge. It hit me like nothing else. I was broken hearted and wanted to give up. Something over took me, and I could not shake it. But a friend from the boards, Rachel, gave me some very good words of wisdom and it picked me back up. Later the parents of those girls were on tv and they had forgiven the man, and I felt very weak and small in my faith. I shall never forget the message that God gave me then. He send a friend to pick me up and then showed me what real love and compassion looked like when the parents of murdered children forgave a murderer.

Of all the people on the boards I do not think anyone realized just how down I was except Rachel. Which is kind of funny as she was one of the very few who was not a Christian. But she has the heart of a lion, and stands strong when others are weak. I do not think she every really understood the power of her words, or that at that moment decades of work stood to be ended. I would guess we often do not realize how much our words mean to someone else. Words of kindness can close most wounds. Love is the answer to many problems.

Ok so here we are.... another rainy day... good day for ducks..

Well my Mom is now getting up earlier, not sure why. The last few days she is getting up almost as early as myself. I try to smile as this is the only time of day I have to myself, and now I do not have that... but then at least it is showing she is on the mend. Yesterday was a bad day... she thought many things that just were not so, but I am learning as I go alone. Each day is different... today, not sure what it will hold..

So I guess I will not get to write much today either...life is funny... one makes plans, and then, no.

One of the things I would like to say about how Jesus entered my life is the timing.. it was perfect. I did not know that at the time but I do now. I had not yet stopped danceing on air, well until that nasty demon entered my life, which was a surprise, as I thought myself untouchable then, but found that it was not that things would no longer happen it was just that I would see them differently.

Jesus came and really started my walk.. my walk away from the world, all the chains that bound me. I still smoked, eat flesh, still partied with friends, my language needed an upgrade as I was still saying holy cow, holy crow and an assortment of other holies. My mind was full of garbage that needed to be thrown out, my feet may have still been dancing but I was still weighted down by the things of this world.. I had not yet been baptized. So the timing was perfect for me to know that Jesus loves us even when we are still chained to this world. If he had of waited until I was cleaner, or smarter or baptized I may have thought he loved me because I did those things. And I would think that is what it took for Jesus to love us, but I know that he loves us even if we are drunk in the gutter, falling down stinking drunk while smoking a cigarette, and swearing a blue streak.

But that only makes sense because I love those folks also, so how much more must he love them. That said, I never preached hatred against my fellow man, I never pointed my finger at others and called them the spawn of the devil, those are the folks I stood against before I even knew Jesus. The KKK, and all other groups whos message was hatred I stood firmly against them, even as a child I knew right from wrong, and I knew preaching hatred was wrong. I may have preached against God, but I did so because I loved man, I hated to see them giving their money to Jimmy Swaggart, or any of his kind, just hearing them speak made me angry. I am not sure if I had of preached hatred is I would be born again today... pretty sure I would not be, I had failed in so many ways, but not in love. There was a poem in school, Abu Ben Adam.... This is such a wonderful time to be alive, I can find that poem in a click of a button..
I am nothing like Abu Ben Adam but in the one thing, I loved my fellow man. Other than that I had no saving grace, and I am sure he had many. But apparently one only needs one saving grace. Our Father loves us all, and wants us to love him, Jesus says so. There are so many things i do not understand, but that is one I do, and now I love my Father also. So for all those who love their fellow man but do not yet know the Lord, they also have a saving grace.. and can reach out to their Father at any time.

Of course as much as Jesus wants us to love our fellow man, satan wants the opposite of that, he wants us to hate and fear them. Nasty business that is, and many of us fall for his evil tricks, no matter what color our skin or religion we are, he wants us to hate and fear each other. And those who do, and preach that doctrine, Jesus will deny them, just as they denied him. They give only name service to his doctrine of love and preach hate and fear instead ...in his name! May God help them.


Think of it this way, an group you know loves you, they want to stand next to you, they think you are great, but they preach hatred against your children,,, how close do you let them get to you?

Abu Ben Adam,may his tribe increase
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace

And saw, within the moonlight of his room

Making it rich, like a lily in bloom

An angel writing in a book of gold.

Exceeding peace had made Abu Ben Adam bold

And to the presence in his room he said

' What writest thou?'

The vision raised its head

And with a look of all sweet accord Answered:

'The names of those who love the Lord.

'And is mine one?' said Abu.

'Nay not so' Replied the Angel

Abu spoke more low

But cheerily still and said

'I pray thee then Write me as one that loves his fellow-men'

The angel wrote and vanished.

The next night it came again with awaking light

And showed the names of whom love of God had blessed.

And lo! Ben Adam's name led all the rest.

I wrote here twice the other day and twice it was lost so I took the hint and stopped what I was doing, and am now grateful for that.
The Lord showed me long ago that while he spends time protecting me from others he spends more time protecting me from myself. For this I am always grateful, for I need such protection. Sometimes my boldness can be a little too bold and needs to be calmed down. I count on my Father for this, as he knows that I am still finding my way, even after almost thirty years.

My Mother is failing very quickly, she is now in a wheel chair, has hearing aids and can barely see. Not long ago this was not the case and every day is leading in the same direction. I am trying to reap what I can from each day now, for I do not know how long this may last as it seems that this disease is moving so quickly though her. What often takes years is happening in months, it could be because of her advanced years that it is able to break down her body so quickly. Some days are good and some are horrible. But each day is a hug or a kiss and at least a few smiles.I foolishly thought because her sister is ninety six that I had more time, silly really since she has three other sisters who did not make it to her age now.

It is a good thing I have the Lord, because my heart would be breaking. I will not be sad when she is gone as I know she will be free of that rotting body and in a place filled with joy. Hard to be sad for those who go before us, unless of course they go to hell..then not so much.

The birds are all outside singing. The Lord and his birds, makes me laugh just to think of it, even though them he speaks to me. I say I hate the birds, he makes me take care of them. They always reminded me of little mindless eating machines, that were they bigger would gobble me down without a second thought. Now the Lord brings them to me by the hundreds and I find them a blessing. In fact I have learned that they have a more varied language then humans and that much of our music is vastly inferior to theirs and many songs that we love actually belong to them. It is as if man has mimicked them and stolen their best stuff.
I have five crows, Paul, John George and Ringo, and Edgar Allen Crow.. had them for years. Now I know it can not be the same five crows all these years and yet it is always five, they come when I call them to eat. Mind you sometimes they come and screech at me to come feed them, that is not so pleasant..

I can not now imagine what it would be like without the birds, the quiet would be deafening. Many are so tame they do not flew away when I come out.. Some think that I can walk up to animals because I am a vegan and so they smell no meat in me, so that would mean I am not a predator. But I think it is just they know that they have nothing to fear from me, instinct tells them I mean no harm.

Still struggle with the taking of life, and I do know it says thou shalt not murder.. but still.

I love to wonder about things, it is such an amazing world. And I live in the most amazing time. In a most amazing country. I am a woman who has such freedoms, I can read of anything I wish, I drive anywhere in my country without fear, I can go to any church I like, I thank God for this place and time that he has placed me in, and given me the means to explore his world. To see his wonders, to look at the inside of a plant, to see the beyond the stars, to know what the dark side of the Moon looks like. I can see his creations at the bottom of his oceans, I can fly in his skies, I can sit under his trees. I know I am blessed.

I know because I know where others are, in prisons, in camps, hungry, cold and lost. I know of disease, famine, and war. I know that children are dying in this world of mine, and that women are oppressed beyond my understanding. Lepers are dying while I write this, children are starving as I eat my breakfast, chains hold men in dark places as I sit in the sunlight. As I listen to the song birds buzzards circle the dying waiting for death.

It is kind of funny but I hated this world as a child, I hated being here, and yet all my pictures show me smiling. I still hold that I was in a battle with God from when I was born. I do not know how many folks feel this way, but I did, and I remember it clearly. I was adoped by a beautiful kindhearted woman who died five years later, all her brothers and her Father were stone masons, so all our homes were brick, my first home was brick. In fact that is what they all did, build brick homes for a living. My granddads home is still standing, where it once stood alone on a dirt road it now is in the middle of a huge town developement. There are still streets there named after my family, and one that a friend of mine once live on named for my Grandmother Florence. It is funny to drive past malls and such and to see these streets. Time did not stand still. So when i hear stuff about masons I think of them, how kind and loving they all are, what things they did for many who do not know where such kindness came from. My Aunt Grace, my stepmothers sister, not related to the mother I have now who lives with me, but my first adopted Mom, her sister Grace, I do not think I have ever met a person in my life who is a better example of what a Christian should be than her. Her name suits her. She like my second step mom had ten brothers and sisters so you just know I have no shortage of family.. I keep in touch with them as I am a connection to their sister who died, and so they make sure I am included in family events. Which sadly these days are mostly funerals.

I tried to keep my life away from all those folks who loved me, so as not to hurt them, but this was not alway possible. In the case of my Aunt Grace she lives close to where I once lived and the newspaper was the same one for both of us. So she got to see my ex husband and a serial killer on the front page together. This of course was shocking for her, and while it was now the end of the story for me she was just learning of it.. and was about to come to me for the rest.
Now I did mention my life was cursed right.. God trying to bring me to my knees, me struggling to best him in battle, me losing badly. Well this little piece of drama I could not hide from those who lived close to me, but did manage to hide from my Mom and Dad, as I convinced Aunt Grace that it would do no good to let my parents know what was happening and only cause them fear. My Dad died without ever knowing most of the things that happened to me in my life, and that is one of my greatest blessing.
So where to begin on this story as it has so many parts, I shall start at the first, my friend Janet, my husband and myself moved to a trailer, one my husband and I bought as it would one day be the down payment to a house. Well we were not there very long before Janet began to have mental troubles. I worried about this as most of the folks who ever lived with me became targets for the kind of drama that most folks do not get to see in their lifetimes and when they do they move far,far away, mostly from me, and I did not blame them. I would have also but you can not run away from yourself..
She started saying that someone was in the room with her, and that she was afraid as it was evil and wanted her dead. Well she had no history of mental illness but still this was not something one could believe to easily unless you are me. But even if I believed her I could not figure out how to stop it, and I was not sure it was real as I sensed no evil when I was in her room and I was quite the little evil sensor by this time in my life so I trusted my own senses...big mistake. She kept getting worse and worse, now it was actually trying to kill her, finally one day when she had enough she tried to take her own life, I got the call at work. She was unconcious for three days. She had not been fooling around, she really wanted out. So she was given drugs and sent to a shrink. Well you can imagine the story she told him and you can guess he did not believe her, why would he when I did not. In the end she ended up in the hospital, the mental hospital. She was drugged and later set free. She moved out.. and her life returned to normal, sort of, she was still having nightmares twenty years later.
But now she was gone.. and suddenly i felt the evil... and it hated me. It was very clear, not a thing you had to think about, oh no you knew, it was powerful. In that moment I knew Janet was not crazy, what she had said was all the truth.. and I had not been a bit of help. With the help of her doctor I had signed the woman into a mental hospital..at her doctors urging and yet everything she had said was the truth. I knew that then, but way to late. Satan has this thing about divide and conquer, and it worked very well. I was so stupid, if anyone should have known better it was me, and yet I was fooled because I did not sense this thing myself. I see that very clearly NOW.

Mothers up got to go ,,,

Back again... I read my last paragraph and so now I know exactly where I am, back in that time and place. I seem so disconnected from that person that I used to be. It is like another life time completely and it really seems as if it is someone else's and I am only telling the story of someone else's walk through hell. But I know that out there right now someone is being used in the exact same fashion as I was, learning the same lessons the hard way. I would like to be able to say do not make this mistake and that mistake as it may save some one a lot of time and suffering. I used to think most folks led lives like mine, and like me were just not talking about it, I thought all born agains were living such lives when they were saved. That in itself was a mistake, for if I had of known that satan did not really confront others in such an open and forthright manner I would probably sought help quicker, or at all. I did not think it an every day occurrence but in my defence this was not talked about at all in any way that I had very known of at that time. I mean I had heard of satan in church, but to me he fit right in with santa clause, the Easter bunny and tooth fairy. Satan was no more real to me than any other work of fiction. This was a big mistake on my part, another mistake I would not like folks to make is to think satan keeps his hands off children, that is such a big mistake. Remember the young boy that the disciples could not cast that nasty demon out of and Jesus said that kind of demon only came out with fasting and prayer? Is that not proof that children are not above satans reach. It was another kind of demon in that child, and so had special needs to cast it out. The very fact that it is in the bible is a clue to those who wish to understand just how evil satan is, and how far he will go to win.
Now I was not a special child, I was not even a good child, I lied and stole, it was fun, a grand adventure. By satans standards I was on the right road so what was his big deal at dragging me into the mud? Oh I was cute, and had curly hair but not a bit of wisdom or one thing that made me special, and yet he filled my dreams, and he showed me things I did not wish to see, he set the world against me. Or so I thought . I tried to tell my parents but children learn quickly when they see fear on their parents faces, and in my case I watched as my Dad checked my closet and looked under my bed to see if there was anything there while this man sat on the end of my bed and watched also. It is a terrible thing for a child to come to understand what being alone really means. I watched as worlds passed though my world and had no more interest in me than I later had in them, and in time they faded away and I began to see them less and less, or should I say I saw less and less of them, they became as smoke and then they were gone, by the time I was in my teens they no longer were there, well I did not see them any more, but I knew that all was as it had been it was I who some how had changed.
Now I find it hard to imagine that such things were done just to scare a child who was already scared plenty enough. And while these were clearly of a different make than the man who sat on my bed as he had substance, a weight, and he was interested in me, just not very much. He never spoke, nor looked at me directly, and I came to the point where I ignored him. But he sat on my bed and that meant something, even today I am not sure exactly what that means. If you go and sit by a chained dog each day and never harm it, after a while the dog will get used to your presence. That was me, I got used to it, and in the end he also stopped coming, it became less and less just as the strangers. That is how I see it now, but at the time I was a child and when adults could not see him, it frightened me more than the man himself did.

I know it sounds like a child with an over active imagination and I would probably think that if I just did not graduate into full blown strangeness as time went on. And these things were not invisible to others, and they were not without proof and substance either. Now it was not just me screaming and running away. Others had joined me. First they ran away from the scary things and then they stayed away from me, I had a kind of spiritual leprosy. I now think that the early years allowed me to grow into the experiences that would later follow. Others were not ready for such things and I seemed to expect them. But they were not part of a battle, and I was living in the middle of a war. They were the collateral damage.
I was not allowed to leave the battlefield either, that was a no no. I also learned running away did no good, just spread around the misery.

Which is why I stayed so long at the trailer. Most folks would think I was crazy to stay, and yet I knew that I had no where to go. So there I was, with a husband who was a man with no criminal record or history of mental illness who was now an armed robber, and who was attached to a serial killer. I was living in a place that was clearly demon infested and I have a power which I have now lost total control of and am attacking myself.
Now I will have trouble putting things in their right order, as my mental health was not so good at that time, as you can imagine. But many things were shown to me when I was living this life, and most of them led me down one road or another. I will tell the one of reincarnation at another time. But let me just say it was compelling, and yet I find no reason to speak of it as a truth as Jesus never did. You see I now measure all things by him. I trust no one but him, not even myself. I do not trust my own wisdom to know the truth, for I have fallen for so many falsehoods. I look at all the demon stuff and satan stuff and know that he takes a personal interest in us, and wants us to fail. So I see those days as my war to get to the spot where I stand today and think that satan worked very hard to stop me from standing here saying this, and he won, for I was lost, if it was not for the fact I cried out to my Father I would be in a mental ward lost in my own world within my own nightmare. Only by the grace of God am I not there, and I know many did not make it, many are in that place in their own minds , and lost until death takes them from this world.
They hear voices, I have heard voices, they have been possessed, I have been possessed. I know their pain, and their failure. I failed, but my Father did not let me stay in that place and brought me out, and back into this world.
Now I am here, and I have no fear, well maybe a little of the dentist, but I still go so it is not that great a fear. But of demons, or evils, I only fear for others as I know that many are fighting battles without weapons, some of them children.
Satan's greatest weapon is man himself. That is where wolves in sheep's clothing comes into the battle. Those who lead the sheep astray. Now in my case it was a little different but I am not blinded to how this usually works and I know all about weapons. I hear it in their lies, and their false doctrine. Evil has been winning this War because they can make Christianity look evil, and when a leader of a church is all about money and sex with young girls, well there you have it, the world sees followers of Christ as lechers and greedy men filling their pocket with other peoples gold. That is why I am all about the cults and not about the demons, few folks will be attacked outright by demons, but many will be lead astray by the demon possessed. That is my war now, not the devil and his merry band of demons, but humans who are doing all their work for them.
Satan does not get those he attacks in the manner he attacked me, that would only have taken me out of the war and it would not have placed me on his side, and maybe that was the idea, to remove me. . And it would have worked, as I was not even aware that I could have weapons, or that I had a Father who loved me. No I was helpless , a babe in the woods. But those days are over, and now, I am here, alive and with weapons.
It is kind of funny because of my past I thought that my Father wanted me to battle demons, you know cast them out and the such. I assumed that was the reason for my whole battle before I was born again to prepare me for such a battle now, but I was wrong. It is wolves that I am hunting, not demons. And I have weapons for that now.
One of those weapons is the knowledge that I gained in my battle, it can not be taken from me, and even now I am still learning from it, things that once did not make any sense to me, I read a piece of scripture and suddenly I see the truth, and I understand.
And it is all so simple, I only have to follow Jesus. Nothing else is asked of me. No secret handshake, no special beads, no magic writings, no hidden scrolls, no sacred places, no holy fountain, no wise man, no code, no fraternity, no objects of religion , no alters, no holy robes, just two commandments, Jesus asks nothing more of me.
Does this make me a Jesus freak.. Maybe, but that is a name that holds no shame for me. In fact it is starting to grow on me. Now I do like to read of the things Jesus said, and how he fought his battles, and I could not help but notice that he used scripture to beat the devil. I loved that part, not just that he beat him, but that he used scripture to do so.
Back to my life, or should I say my previous life.
So long story short, off they all go to jail, my husband, the serial killer and his girlfriend, and there I am alone again. Just like all the other times. I was beginning to get the idea that I was a not loved by the universe.
Well my love for my husband had rather waned by this point. I know it was not his fault all this had happened, and yet I blamed him for much of it, for not believing in me, for not defending me, for not finding a way to get a serial killer out of our home. I now know that I could not have possibly have understood the pressure that he was under, as he had things going on of which I was not aware also, things that later made much more sense in the war that was being fought, but that knowledge was to come after I was born again and did us no good at the time.
So I wrote him a Dear John letter, not understanding he was already mentally ill, and I was not helping. But in my defence I had my own demons to fight. Literally. I say fight, har har, there was no fighting, it was just me screaming and crying. The battle was for me to keep my sanity, which I was also losing at that time, I just did not know it, but I was about to find out.
So I thought that maybe if I drank booze it might help, you know that there is nothing better to fight evil spirits than to drink a few down. Oh yes I was just full of good ideas. But it seemed to be working, whenever I drank booze I was never attacked. While I never really cared for alcohol it seemed to be a good plan so I now stayed with that plan. In fact I was to stay with that plan from that time until I was born again. Well as you probably guess the drinking did not really solve my problems, it only added another one to the list.
When I was born again I was not only insane I was an insane alcoholic. If there was ever a description of the lost it was me, and while there was rejoicing in heaven over the one lost sheep, there was a lot of rejoicing in my home also, and as usual I was alone at the time and still there was much rejoicing.
So there I am all alone now, not that being surrounded by others was ever much help, if anything it just caused me more worry, because now I had to worry about them and myself.
Now my friend Janet who really did not like to visit and who can blame her, came by, I had just been though hell, drug to the police station, though the courts, and been on the witness stand for hours. Which by the way the fellow who killed so freely without any guilt at all wanted me to say that he and my husband had both been with me on the date in question. Threats were made, but my thing there was that if I did that the next dead person belonged to me, it would be my fault and I would rather have been dead than face a lifetime with that in my head. So I did not say that and angry words were spoken. I had past the point of human fear, my whole focus was on the things I could not see, which in hindsight was short sighted of me.
My poor little brains were swamped, I no soon got over one thing than another took its place.
Now here is a thing that is going to sound crazy.. I am smiling when I say that. In all of this, there was one thing that gave me peace, and I hate to say it as it is so out there. But it is also true, or true to me, in the living room of the trailer was the spirit of an old Indian, or lets say Native person. He was very old. How did I know this, I have no idea. I never saw him, but I knew he was there. He never spoke, nor in any way indicated his presence, and yet I knew exactly where he was at all times. He gave me a feeling of peace that no other spirit ever did. He was the only spirit that I know of that was what I would call good. And I later figured it out that the reason for the loud crashes that were supposed to bring me running only happened when I was in the living room, and the result of my leaving that room was an attack on me. I learned not to answer the loud crashing noise. Sadly I did not figure this out until much later, as in many things that happened. I think I was too far into the situation to get a clear picture of what was happening. And as soon as I would start to get a handle on one thing another would happen. You know that old saying, never a moments peace.
Well I never told anyone of this Man, I just kept it to myself as really what was the point of telling anyone. Now this was not for a day but for a number of years, from the beginning.
So Janet comes by, we are stilling talking. All the worst is now over, oh there are still demons and the such but the place is quiet and we are alone. We begin to discuss what has happened, which may seem strange but we had never really done so before, but now we began to compare notes. We both we terrified to look in the bathroom mirror, not in any other mirror just that one. That sort of stuff. Now as we were talking I knew my old friend was in the chair behind me, just sitting there. I gave no indication at all of his presence. In the middle of the conversation she stopped and said, I can not do this, there is someone sitting in that chair behind you. Wham, you could have knocked me over with a feather, she called it, and was exactly right. I was over joyed. Because I had been exactly right, I say I knew it, but really who can ever be sure? Now I was sure. Mind you she went home as it was scary for her, but that is just because it was the unknown, and often it is not that a thing is scary but it is that one does not understand it. Hard to keep friends when you have spirits in your house, even ones who are not actively trying to scare you to death.
One of the reasons I am so strong on baptism is that while demons may try all kind of things to tempt us they can never possess one who is baptized for when one is baptized they are filled with the Holy Spirit. And a demon can not enter where the Holy Spirit dwells. That is why I can not stay in a church that preaches that we do not need baptism. How can any church say that when Jesus himself was baptized? A baby is unable to accept Jesus as ones personal saviour, so it is useless and worse than that one may think they have protection when they have none at all.
See the thing for me is, I have seen these demons, they have spoken to me, they have mocked me, they destroy lives. They tried to take my life, and I have seen them destroy the lives of others. Many think that demons are only in the bible. But they forget that Jesus spoke to them, he knew of their evils, and he destroyed them. If I want to follow him I also must work to rid the world of such evil. But first you have to show folks that they even exist. Its like folks think oh that was way back when, as if demons have a shelf life. But Jesus tells us that the child who was possessed, that his demon was so strong it cast him into the fire and into the water over and over, that it would throw him on the ground and rip this flesh and it made his life a misery. Today demons are quietly working behind the scenes, so much so we have almost forgotten that it was one of the things Jesus did over and over, and spoke of often.


My name is Legion for we are many… does that not put the fear into you? Would you want to face this demon without the Holy Spirit? So that is why I find that those churches who tell their flocks that they do not need baptism are leaving the door open for possession. And how can you help another when you are demon possessed yourself. Another thing about Jesus, the demons knew Jesus when he went to synagogue, and asked Jesus if he had come to destroy them. So demons are very aware of who is who. Jesus told them to be quiet sternly and cast them out. Philip cast out many demons at a time, and they shrieked, as they were not happy about being kicked out of their comfy homes.
The life I lead had many such demons in it, and I had no defence against them. But that was then and this is now. Many want me to stop saying such things, they do not like to hear that demons are here, and are able to possess all of those who are not filled with the Holy Spirit. The demons that were able to speak to me were my own, and so it did not matter where I went I could not get away. I did not understand that, I felt hopeless and lost, I would have taken my own life if I had of been allowed, but my Father would not allow that, and today I am thankful for that mercy.

Now I have often stated that demons know me, and this is true, but before I knew Jesus they mocked me, and I felt powerless. And even though I was born again I ran away from a demon that mocked me, I did return but I was powerless to change the situation as I knew no scripture that would help me as I did not yet know Jesus. And it was actually a demon who scared me so badly that I called out to God of my fear and he sent me Jesus, and Jesus became my truth and my life. And since that time with all but one exception all the demons who have spoken to me were in drunks. And the demon who sent me running to my Father, he ran from me. But in drunks, those demons they are bold and not afraid, I am not sure why this is, and again I do not feel as if I could just cast them out. Yet no sober person has confronted me and asked for my help. So I have much to learn on the casting out of demons. It is the very thing I thought I would spend the rest of my life doing and it is something that is never asked of me. But I now stay away from drunks, as their demons are way to happy to see me, and I for some reason seem to do nothing and I have no idea why. But it is what it is, and someday I am sure I will have an understanding of this so I do not worry.

What a crazy time this has been. The same morning my cousin Corrine was in such trouble and in the ER I was there with my youngest daughter.She hurt her back while moving furniture ... and so she was in real trouble. But she is on her feet now, well just for a little while. I want to look at it this way, she turns 21 today and there is a big party for her in the city , her and another fellow who also has a birthday. But he is sick and can not go, she feels she must and so will sit in a chair and not drink or dance.. Lord is funny eh? I was worried about this day... what a waste of time that was.

I am off to a wedding of a beautiful young lady . We are friends with her parents but do not see them very often as they live to far away. I would stay home but there are only a few going and we would be missed. Not one of those big affairs that you can go and then leave either, but maybe a celebration is just what we need.